Over the last 12 months my life has changed for the better in many ways. I appreciate that I am responsible for the changes, in that the choices I made during this time came from an assessment of my quality world as well as appreciating how my perceptions and sensory images had skewed into thinking I was one animal, when in fact, I had morphed into something different. This article will begin a journey that I am taking with the real appreciation of the risks involved. My survival need is trumping my need for power, in the achievement sense of that concept. Thus, what follows is an attempt to chronicle my journey toward health.
I have been involved with Choice Theory since it was Control Theory. I am a true believer. I know it works. I have a perceptual filter in my brain that has precluded me from really climbing the mountain of recapturing my health, however. Therapists might call it unworthiness. Religious people may term it the unacceptance of grace. For the last ten years, I have called it ‘excuse’. It worked real well.
My organized behavior was more concerned with destroying the health that I had originally worked hard to achieve. To look at me at age 56, you would not believe that I’ve run 13 marathons and more halves than I can count. How does any of this relate to an adventure in Choice Theory?
I know the concepts. I get the ideas. I have an iPhone picture with Dr. Bill that was taken at my certification week. Still not convinced? How many of you have an autographed copy of Choice Theory on your bookshelves?
I am certified, although according to my wife, I am certified nuts. As I am walking my way through my Practicum Supervisor training, I am questioning my further continuation in the process. Are you beginning to see the picture?
I have begun a quest to recapture lower blood pressure and BMI. To do this, I have chosen an experimental model of weight loss and health understanding that uses Choice Theory as its basis with mindfulness training as thought control.
My process relates to total behavior in that I am meditating and using mindfulness in order to reorganize my behaviors around eating and exercising. I am appreciating the times when I have the sense of not wanting to exercise, or eat appropriately, in terms of what needs are being fulfilled during those “right now” moments. In a sense, I am more intimately allowing the front wheels of my car to steer me in a direction that is useful and pleasing.
As I work through each day, I try to have awareness of the perceptual filters confronting me in regards to my speech and behavior. The resulting questions are twofold in nature. “Is this behavior working right now?” “Is what you are saying to yourself about yourself what you really see if you looked at a photograph of yourself? Right now.”
As the scales balance, I am choosing behaviors that are more aligned with the Quality World pictures I hold. The questions turn; “Is this behavior bringing me closer to the people I love?” and “How does my present behavior match the picture in my Quality World?”
Part of the experimental model consists of a constructed framework taken from the Realty Therapy techniques. This is a needs assessment checklist that accounts for filtering and processing. It feels good, too!
The accountability checklist relates to how I meet my Quality World pictures through healthful lifestyle changes. This enables me to control, to the extent I can, my thoughts and emotions, and to recognize the times when my real world behavior does not match the attitudes of my perceived world.
The mindfulness piece points me toward physical awareness of when my needs are being met and when I am most happy. Essentially, the question becomes “When do you feel best?” How do you know you are feeling well? Where, in your body, do you experience this ‘wellness’ feeling?
How has this concept impacted my life after seven days? I have become aware of present level behaviors and thoughts. I have stopped self-defeating talk around energy and possibility. I have begun a process of living in the present while being aware that habits take 28-42 days to develop.
There are readers who may question the use of writing to “advertise” a return to health journey. Thank you for that. The honest response is that writing about the process is three pronged. First, the caring habits of supporting, trusting and encouraging are being utilized to check their validity when an individual uses them on themselves. Secondly, relationship destruction is being lessened because criticizing and blaming are not highlighted. Finally, to anyone person reading this article, you may find there hope.
We’ll see where the journey leads. Right now I have a need to go work out, even though a half pound of good chocolate sounds better.
Peace be with you
Mike Rospenda
