Is Family System Therapy (MFT) an external control therapy? Consider these characteristics of external control:
1. In system therapy an individual's relationship is determined by the reaction of the other family member not how the individual meets their own 5 basic needs in the relationship.
2. The systems therapist is an indispensable part of the family interaction and does not get out of the way.
3. Birth order is considered a determining factor rather than the choices a person makes.
Overall I don't think there need be any contradiction between the two. Much depends on the use of methods and skills and techniques of the therapist. More specifically in answer to your observations:
1. It seems to me that it is impossible to separate satisfying one's own needs in a family from the reaction of other family members. It seems that the two are linked closely together and overlap.
2. The reality therapist is also a significant part of the family interaction during counseling sessions. The role of the counselor can be quite directive at times.
3. Not all systems rely on birth order. Some pay very little attention to birth order. Of course, Adlerians consider it a factor but not a determining factor. Most counseling systems assume that people have choices even though they don't explicitly emphasize it as does the reality therapist.
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